The Power of Choice

 

05.06.2022 THE POWER OF CHOICE Our darkest moments tend to precede our greatest growth in life. There’s something unique about our pain that, when worked with skillfully, can allow us to find power within it. Similar to a diamond forged from coal, we can transform pain into something beautiful. Understandably, this might not be quite the news we want to hear. It implies that we must walk through the flames instead of simply putting out the fire. In short, there’s work involved — and it’s not always easy. Buddhism tells us that pain is inevitable, but our suffering may be optional. This is depicted beautifully by the parable of the “second arrow,” in which the Buddha asks a student, “If a person is struck by an arrow, is it painful?” “It is,” the student replies. “If the person is struck by a second arrow, is that even more painful?” the Buddha asks. “It is,” the student replies again. To this, the Buddha offers that while we cannot always control the first arrow, the second arrow represents our reaction to the first arrow. The second arrow is within our control. Our work begins after the first arrow has struck. Our work begins once things have fallen apart — when we lose a loved one, when our business fails, when our heart is broken. In the midst of our deepest despair, when all hope seems lost, it’s easy to give up. But Buddhist wisdom tells us that in these very moments we have a great power at our disposal: the power of choice. Do we allow ourselves to feel our pain fully and work through it, or do we continue to suffer because of it? Most of our suffering arises from within. It’s the second arrow – the stories we tell ourselves about the first arrow and the constant clinging to it — that keeps us stuck. So what do we do when faced with uncertainty, when life deals us a bad hand that we’re forced to play? What do we do when the only option is to walk through the flames? The answer, Buddhism tells us, is to take the poison and turn it into medicine. The three teachings below can help you do just that. May they each serve as antidotes to your suffering. —Chris Pacheco, Associate Editor, Lion’s Roar AV

Three Methods for Working with Chaos Times of chaos and challenge can be the most spiritually powerful… if we are brave enough to rest in their space of uncertainty. Pema Chödrön describes three ways to use our problems as the path to awakening and joy: go to the places that scare you, use poison as medicine, and regard what arises as awakened energy. When we feel squeezed, there’s a tendency for mind to become small. We feel miserable, like a victim, like a pathetic, hopeless case. Yet believe it or not, at that moment of hassle or bewilderment or embarrassment, our minds could become bigger. Instead of taking what’s occurred as a statement of personal weakness or someone else’s power, instead of feeling we are stupid or someone else is unkind, we could drop all the complaints about ourselves and others. We could be there, feeling off guard, not knowing what to do, just hanging out there with the raw and tender energy of the moment. This is the place where we begin to learn the meaning behind the concepts and the words.

When We Have No Choice Sometimes, says Pema Khandro, there’s no way out. It’s at those times that we can discover the depth and resilience of the mind. To work with mind is to work in unchartered territory, perhaps the last uncharted territory on Earth. To work with mind is to see something surprising, treacherous, beautiful, ugly, frightening, innocent. This all has to be seen. It has to — when things fall apart, it is all there is, all our hidden faults and latent vices, laid bare. When facing hardships, our mental habits are there as the voice that responds to the most important questions: why am I in this situation? What does this mean about me? What matters in those moments is that we look past self-deception. This is the vigorous honesty that is required to see ourselves and develop spiritual maturity.

The Lion’s Roar Podcast: Facing the Unknown with Kaira Jewel Lingo As everyday normalities change, or even vanish, what used to make sense is out the door and a new vision of our lives and world is needed. In this episode of The Lion’s Roar Podcast, Kaira Jewel Lingo, a former nun in Thich Nhat Hanh’s Plum Village tradition, offers a path forward. Karia Jewel Lingo:  It’s all about trusting that we have what we need already. My experience is that we do need to train. We do need to have a discipline that we’re committed to, but everything else is completely out of our hands — like what situations we’re going to be tested by and need to apply those teachings in. Sometimes it’s illness, or injury, or the loss of someone else. That's enough for some folks to really see clearly.

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