Nowhere to Go, Nothing to Fix
When I was first introduced to mindfulness meditation, the teacher said
that there was “nowhere to go, nothing to do, and nothing to change or
fix.” As I sat on my cushion that day, trying hard to be mindful, that
instruction struck me as a giant contradiction. Wasn’t there a lot to
change or fix in this moment — and in this life? And didn’t her overall
teaching actually include many things to do? There seemed to be an
endless number of details and techniques to apply to help me arrive in
the present moment with curiosity and openness. All of this felt oddly
at odds with the supposed endgame, which was to let go of the very idea
that I had to do anything at all.
Fortunately, over time, I noticed that as I allowed myself to stay with
whatever was unfolding in my body and thoughts, what naturally arose
wasn’t more effort but rather a settling in. Gradually, it seemed, my
mind and body came to appreciate being in the same place at the same
time.
In the new issue of Lion’s Roar,
we explore the beautiful contradiction and profound benefit of
mindfulness — and how to incorporate the practice into daily life.
Inside, seven Buddhist teachers and thinkers explore how mindful
awareness can help you meet each moment with clarity, presence, and even
joy. As Jan Chozen Bays puts it: “Mindfulness is awareness without criticism or judgment.” There’s room for every quality of experience.
You’ll find three of those teachings below. Whether you’re facing
difficulty, seeking more ease in your life, or simply curious about how
to live with more attention, we hope this issue supports you.
Mindfulness, after all, isn’t about fixing ourselves. It’s about meeting
ourselves — fully, kindly, and without turning away.
—Beth Wallace, Associate Publisher, Lion’s Roar
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Jan Chozen Bays explores the essence of mindfulness — what it is, how to
practice it, and the transformative power of unifying body, heart, and
mind.
Here’s my favorite definition of what mindfulness actually is:
“Mindfulness is deliberately paying full attention to what is happening
around you and within you — in your body, heart, and mind. Mindfulness
is awareness without criticism or judgment.”
In his teachings on the four foundations of mindfulness, the Buddha
provided instructions for how to direct attention to body, heart, and
mind. These four foundations are mindfulness of the body, mindfulness of
feeling tone, mindfulness of mind, and mindfulness of mental objects.
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Mindfulness is not about trying to change how you feel, says Cara Lai. It’s about knowing that your feelings are natural.
Open your window when you meditate, or go outside and get very
comfortable. Bring your comfy chair, your blanket. Make it easy for
yourself to feel warm and safe. And then, let gravity hold you in its
gentle embrace. Let the elements move through you. Feel how the sounds
of the birds and the wind are not just outside of you, but can be sensed
throughout your body. The earth is welcoming you in.
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Robert Waldinger on how to find alternatives to unhealthy patterns and become a more loving, present, and supportive partner.
At its core, mindfulness in relationships is about radical presence.
It’s about opening ourselves up to being surprised, setting aside our
narratives, expectations, and reactive patterns to truly see and hear
our partner as they are, not as we wish them to be. This begins with a
fundamental shift in perception — from judgment to curiosity, from
defensiveness to openness. This person I think I know so well, who are
they in this moment?
Human connection thrives in presence. As Zen teacher John Tarrant says,
“Attention is the most basic form of love.” Yet, how often do we find
ourselves distracted, caught up in our own thoughts, or reacting
reflexively to our partner without truly listening? Research shows that
nearly half the time, our minds are elsewhere, thinking about something
other than what we’re doing. This mental wandering not only diminishes
our happiness, but also erodes the quality of our interactions.
Mindfulness invites us to bring our attention back — to our partner, to
the conversation, to the moment we’re sharing.
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