03.06.2026 How to Open Your Heart When I first learned the Buddhist practice of tonglen, the idea made me anxious. In tonglen, or “sending and taking,” we visualize taking in the suffering of others and sending out happiness and well-being. Why would I want to take in suffering? I remember thinking, selfishly worried it might somehow bring more suffering onto me. As a child, I was prone to worrying about a myriad of things far beyond my control. I learned to hold my breath around thoughts and situations I didn’t want to “take in,” often matching the rhythm of my inhale and exhale to breathe in things I deemed “good,” and in turn breathe out what frightened me. I did this while driving over bridges I feared could collapse, in the face of difficult people, or when unwanted thoughts appeared without invitation — a strange compulsion I thought could keep me safe. Since encountering Buddhism, I’ve joked that this childhood habit was a kind of “reverse tonglen.” Instead of taking in others’ suffering and offering them goodness, my younger self used my breath to push discomfort away while protecting my own sense of safety and control. As I grew older, the habit faded, along with the illusion of control I’d clung so tightly to. When I encountered tonglen, a practice that invites us to do the very opposite of what I once thought could keep me safe, my whole perspective shifted. “In the practice of tonglen, we take in suffering and send out goodness, well-being, and health. The purpose is not to magically cure people of what ails them; it’s about shifting our perspective,” writes Susan Kaiser Greenland, Lion’s Roar’s March resident teacher, in “How to Open Your Heart.” “The radical act of taking in pain and giving away happiness is the opposite of a zero-sum game,” she continues. “In most of the games we play, only one side can win. One player’s success depends on another player’s failure. Tonglen encourages a different approach. Instead of avoiding pain and pushing it away, we train ourselves to relax and stay with the discomfort. Rather than holding onto our happiness with a tight grip, we offer it to others. With time and patience, taking and sending undermines zero-sum thinking and develops the fortitude necessary for our hearts to grow stronger than our fears.” Tonglen reminds us that the heart grows stronger when it stays open. As a child, I thought closing my heart to suffering would protect me from it, but it only deepened my fear of it. Now, I know we can’t keep playing a game where only one side wins. In today’s divided world, we need open hearts more than ever, trusting that with practice, love can grow stronger than fear. Below are three wonderful teachings on how to open your heart that each serve as a gentle guide for meeting suffering with compassion. May they be of benefit. —Lilly Greenblatt, digital editor, Lion’s Roar How to Open Your Heart Tonglen is a transformational Buddhist meditation that awakens compassion. Susan Kaiser Greenland offers step-by-step instructions. Shantideva’s The Way of the Bodhisattva is widely regarded as one of the most influential texts in the Mahayana — the Buddhist tradition that focuses on cultivating wisdom and compassion for the benefit of all beings. Through study and practice of The Way of the Bodhisattva, we recognize the many ways we’re interdependent and connected, and then, it only makes sense to focus not just on “me,” but also on “we.” One of the most innovative aspects of this text occurs toward the end, in chapter eight, when Shantideva is speaking about meditation. There, he encourages us to “equalize” ourselves and others by reversing our innate tendency to put our needs and aspirations first. Equalizing means recognizing that our joys and sorrows are not unique to us. Just as we want to be happy, others do too. Just as we want to avoid suffering, so does everyone else. This is about more than feeling empathy, it’s about shifting the way we see ourselves in the world.