By Risa Saraswati
"Mama ... I want a new dress ..." the sentence is constantly you say son with eyes that always make me melt. "Yes dear ... wait mama have money first yes, hope tomorrow mama dapet fortune, pupu want clothes like what the hell?" And now I see your eyes more glowing with a smile engraved carve a line of teeth that has recently grown complete, "Pupu want clothes daughter ma ... a lot of white tie yes! ". I nod my head while wiping your thin hair, you still do not know what life is ... now you just have to always feel how beautiful life.
I lifted your tiny body from the top of the small closet that you made your favorite place while wearing shoes just before going to school. "Pupu mama beautiful girl really ... want to meet my friends at school well?" While kuciumi your little hands. You are such a dazzling endowment, I am grateful for everything you have in spite of having lost many wonderful things in my life. My parents who are your grandparents insist on getting rid of you in my stomach for a few months, and I prefer not to be part of my family anymore than to kill you. My school is no longer because I have to bear the cost of our lives alone, do not ask where your father went because we only met once and never love each other, later I have to find the real father for you nak ...
"Mom's mama's mama ... Drowsy cousin ..." You yawned yawn, all night you're waiting for me to go home, I see you sitting sleepily right behind the door of the boarding room where we both live. For a child as small as you you are a brave boy because he never fussed and became annoying even though I left alone until late at night. I hold your small body while walking toward your school not far from where we live, petite you Pupu ... should you get adequate nutrition, your body should not be so thin ... someday I should be able to make you fat and buy the clothes you want. My little princess is now asleep in my arms ... her heartbeat is pounding but fast, your body warms my tired body.
My mind drifted away while carrying Pupu in my arms, 3 months have not pay off monthly dues of Pupu school, actually quite cheap for the size of college school tuition ... But still I have to delay it. These days my job as SPG is a bit hampered because they expect a more "fresh" person. All night I went around to my friends' house to borrow some money, but nothing could help me. I do not know where all the people who once considered me a friend, I did not hesitate to help them when they are in trouble, but now as if all run away leaving me and my beloved daughter, pupu. God ... I'm confused where else to find help ... to eat and milk Pupu everyday I must be prepared to start limiting it, the remaining savings during my college stay 50.000 rupiah. During this time I use for the cost of childbirth, equipment Pupu, until the monthly boarding money. There's nothing I can sell, I've got nothing ... all the jewels I've had on it. I have no hope anymore ... give me the way oh my God ...
My mind was splattering everywhere, the morning street was so crowded by the same motor vehicle splattered like my mind ... Pupu still in my hug, and did not realize my feet kept stepping with a blank view crossing the street when the traffic lights show the color green ...
A big motor hit my body both ... I was bouncing to the left of the road ... Pupu slipped out of my carry and bounced in the opposite direction to me ... a motor passing behind the motor that hit us accidentally dragged his tiny body up to several meters. I was still awake and changed limp and lost consciousness when I saw blood scattered on the streets, I do not feel any pain because no scars on my body ... but the pain I feel so deep because I know the blood comes out of Pupu's body ...
My eyes open slowly in a white room, "where am I? Where am I? Where's Pupu? Where's Pupu ?? "I kept yelling I called Pupu's name. My eyes around, this room is full of people I know, my parents, my sisters, my friends, all the people who have been close to my life and disappeared when Pupu came. They all bowed their heads, some staring at me sadly.
I lifted your tiny body from the top of the small closet that you made your favorite place while wearing shoes just before going to school. "Pupu mama beautiful girl really ... want to meet my friends at school well?" While kuciumi your little hands. You are such a dazzling endowment, I am grateful for everything you have in spite of having lost many wonderful things in my life. My parents who are your grandparents insist on getting rid of you in my stomach for a few months, and I prefer not to be part of my family anymore than to kill you. My school is no longer because I have to bear the cost of our lives alone, do not ask where your father went because we only met once and never love each other, later I have to find the real father for you nak ...
"Mom's mama's mama ... Drowsy cousin ..." You yawned yawn, all night you're waiting for me to go home, I see you sitting sleepily right behind the door of the boarding room where we both live. For a child as small as you you are a brave boy because he never fussed and became annoying even though I left alone until late at night. I hold your small body while walking toward your school not far from where we live, petite you Pupu ... should you get adequate nutrition, your body should not be so thin ... someday I should be able to make you fat and buy the clothes you want. My little princess is now asleep in my arms ... her heartbeat is pounding but fast, your body warms my tired body.
My mind drifted away while carrying Pupu in my arms, 3 months have not pay off monthly dues of Pupu school, actually quite cheap for the size of college school tuition ... But still I have to delay it. These days my job as SPG is a bit hampered because they expect a more "fresh" person. All night I went around to my friends' house to borrow some money, but nothing could help me. I do not know where all the people who once considered me a friend, I did not hesitate to help them when they are in trouble, but now as if all run away leaving me and my beloved daughter, pupu. God ... I'm confused where else to find help ... to eat and milk Pupu everyday I must be prepared to start limiting it, the remaining savings during my college stay 50.000 rupiah. During this time I use for the cost of childbirth, equipment Pupu, until the monthly boarding money. There's nothing I can sell, I've got nothing ... all the jewels I've had on it. I have no hope anymore ... give me the way oh my God ...
My mind was splattering everywhere, the morning street was so crowded by the same motor vehicle splattered like my mind ... Pupu still in my hug, and did not realize my feet kept stepping with a blank view crossing the street when the traffic lights show the color green ...
A big motor hit my body both ... I was bouncing to the left of the road ... Pupu slipped out of my carry and bounced in the opposite direction to me ... a motor passing behind the motor that hit us accidentally dragged his tiny body up to several meters. I was still awake and changed limp and lost consciousness when I saw blood scattered on the streets, I do not feel any pain because no scars on my body ... but the pain I feel so deep because I know the blood comes out of Pupu's body ...
My eyes open slowly in a white room, "where am I? Where am I? Where's Pupu? Where's Pupu ?? "I kept yelling I called Pupu's name. My eyes around, this room is full of people I know, my parents, my sisters, my friends, all the people who have been close to my life and disappeared when Pupu came. They all bowed their heads, some staring at me sadly.
Pupu is still fast asleep, but this time without the beat and warmth, I lifted her tiny body in a shroud that covered his whole body. For the first time he stepped into the house of her grandfather and grandmother, "it's a shame they only know your dying body nak ... they should know how funny and nice you are". I fell asleep when I saw the grains of the soil began to cover your grave, "This is mama's fault ... this is all wrong mama nakk ... Pupuuu ... Pupuuu ..." hysterical I see my favorite treasure, my soul mate, settled in the soil left a deep regret in my mind. I have not had time to buy you a white princess outfit ...
10 years have passed since the death of Pupu, I returned to the arms of my parents after 10 years ago I saw my mother was struck to see physical Pupu beautiful and similar to her was lifeless again, Dad ask forgiveness for his actions cast me out first, my siblings can not hold back tears regretting what they had done to me. I managed to continue my studies until S2, and now work in a small company. My marriage has been running for almost 6 Years, my husband is a kindhearted person, accepting the past and loving my deceased daughter never met.
"Pupu now has a younger brother ... his name is Putra. Mama wonder who's taught your sister is calling her own name as 'Pupu', this must be Pupu yang teached yah? ", I keep talking from above on the headstone Pupu ... somewhat tense and confused after so long never strong to come to her home. I brought Putra, my only child my marriage with my husband. Strange, Putra who called his own name with the call "Pupu" looked calm that afternoon, he was about the same age as Pupu when the last time Pupu breathed, he ran around enjoying the rest house Pupu. I can not resist crying, if Pupu is still there ... maybe she will be a good sister for her brother Putra ... maybe Putra will not be lonely like now, playing alone without friends.
"Dear son, be as old as Pupu kak ...", I took Putra back to leave the tomb of Pupu. The newly learned son stopped his pace while looking at me in surprise, "why bye mom? sister pupu follow us to home mom, sister Pupu accompanied me, Pupu play at home every day .. "(read: ko dadah sih ma? Kak Pupu kan follow us ma, kak Pupu nemenin Pupu play at home every day)
10 years have passed since the death of Pupu, I returned to the arms of my parents after 10 years ago I saw my mother was struck to see physical Pupu beautiful and similar to her was lifeless again, Dad ask forgiveness for his actions cast me out first, my siblings can not hold back tears regretting what they had done to me. I managed to continue my studies until S2, and now work in a small company. My marriage has been running for almost 6 Years, my husband is a kindhearted person, accepting the past and loving my deceased daughter never met.
"Pupu now has a younger brother ... his name is Putra. Mama wonder who's taught your sister is calling her own name as 'Pupu', this must be Pupu yang teached yah? ", I keep talking from above on the headstone Pupu ... somewhat tense and confused after so long never strong to come to her home. I brought Putra, my only child my marriage with my husband. Strange, Putra who called his own name with the call "Pupu" looked calm that afternoon, he was about the same age as Pupu when the last time Pupu breathed, he ran around enjoying the rest house Pupu. I can not resist crying, if Pupu is still there ... maybe she will be a good sister for her brother Putra ... maybe Putra will not be lonely like now, playing alone without friends.
"Dear son, be as old as Pupu kak ...", I took Putra back to leave the tomb of Pupu. The newly learned son stopped his pace while looking at me in surprise, "why bye mom? sister pupu follow us to home mom, sister Pupu accompanied me, Pupu play at home every day .. "(read: ko dadah sih ma? Kak Pupu kan follow us ma, kak Pupu nemenin Pupu play at home every day)
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