By Risa Saraswati
It's been a long time since I want to talk to someone, whoever it is ... actually where am I? Why does everything look so dark and stuffy? And dear ... why is this head still throbbing in pain? Sometimes blood droplets still flow in the temples, why me so why?
Am I alive or dead? If this is a natural death ... why can I still breathe like a human being? If still alive, where do all the people I know? And ... where am I? It looks like my head has also cracked, but why can I still think with my brain? I am confused…
Several times I heard shouts and unknown voices passing through in my ears, some whispered ... "It's not time you died!", Then there is a scream "Wait until your death", and what amazes me most is the sound of something that says "Do not mumble much, you make us hot ... we can not eat you!". I can only be stunned and try not to stop dhikr amid this incredible pain. God ... where am I? If indeed my heart has arrived, take all this pain, not once did I ever ban the religion that I teach. And the laughter of those who somehow constantly echoed in my ears when this question for God I utter in my heart.
I do not dare even to move from where I am now sitting kneeling and feeling tremendous pain, it seems I no longer know the time. All I remember is my dad, mom and husband I love so much ... where are they all? Are they okay? I still enjoy the beauty of the world, no reason why I want to leave so quickly leave everything I have. Why should this happen to me? Oh ... or maybe, I'm being kidnapped by a different world creature?
In my confusion, I finally found someone who knows who he is or what he is because I can not clearly look at his face. All I heard was Jels just his voice, and he said, "It's not time you went to him, you're just a victim ... from a covenant of a human child with a demon". My mouth was silent at once, I did not understand what was being said, my hand wiped some of my face again which was dripping with blood drops. "You will not understand until you see yourself later, now be quiet here ... pray lots and remember your Lord, explain what has happened to you".
Am I alive or dead? If this is a natural death ... why can I still breathe like a human being? If still alive, where do all the people I know? And ... where am I? It looks like my head has also cracked, but why can I still think with my brain? I am confused…
Several times I heard shouts and unknown voices passing through in my ears, some whispered ... "It's not time you died!", Then there is a scream "Wait until your death", and what amazes me most is the sound of something that says "Do not mumble much, you make us hot ... we can not eat you!". I can only be stunned and try not to stop dhikr amid this incredible pain. God ... where am I? If indeed my heart has arrived, take all this pain, not once did I ever ban the religion that I teach. And the laughter of those who somehow constantly echoed in my ears when this question for God I utter in my heart.
I do not dare even to move from where I am now sitting kneeling and feeling tremendous pain, it seems I no longer know the time. All I remember is my dad, mom and husband I love so much ... where are they all? Are they okay? I still enjoy the beauty of the world, no reason why I want to leave so quickly leave everything I have. Why should this happen to me? Oh ... or maybe, I'm being kidnapped by a different world creature?
In my confusion, I finally found someone who knows who he is or what he is because I can not clearly look at his face. All I heard was Jels just his voice, and he said, "It's not time you went to him, you're just a victim ... from a covenant of a human child with a demon". My mouth was silent at once, I did not understand what was being said, my hand wiped some of my face again which was dripping with blood drops. "You will not understand until you see yourself later, now be quiet here ... pray lots and remember your Lord, explain what has happened to you".
The voice and the figure disappeared, and I grew more and more confused.
Time after time running, no one dared to disturb me including the sounds of laughter that had been disturbing in my ears. Until one day everything became so bright, I saw a familiar view, it seems this is the last place I saw it all ... "yes, here I saw the sun some time ago just before everything went dark! Loh ... that's who? Su my husband? "I talked alone with a sense of wonder when suddenly my husband came to a place not far from me, I saw my husband approaching a tree, sitting in front of him, and dear ... I saw that tree turned into a figure so scary, building, has eyes, feet, large hands and feathers are so dense. I see them so clearly, and it seems they do not see me, I'm sure ... someone gave me the strength to know what happened without being seen by them ...
"Sorry mbah, should not he that I sacrifice, I think he is not a good woman who obeys worship, it turns out he even annoys where live mbah ... sorry mbah", my husband said like that, I still do not understand what he was talking about. Then the creature made a jarring sound like he was angry, "you bastard! Incompetent student! I do not know what to do away with! The body is rotting, I can not restore! Now you're looking for a new victim to be my meal, you're looking for a nagging wife and making my place a mess! You want to get rich quick? "
It seems I'm beginning to understand, and I do not want to keep listening to their conversation, I cover my two ears that are constantly buzzing ... tears rolling down my face. I hope this is a dream, he who I love is a devout worshiper and so love me ... I kept my eyes closed, begging forgiveness for everything that happened to me and my family, including my husband who may indeed have made me a victim ... I am sincere as long as he can return to a straight path, as long as I can go home and know the direction ...
I keep praying and releasing all my memories of the wonderful world I've ever enjoyed, I keep praying and encouraging my heart to willingly give up all that has happened ...
Something happened to me afterwards, the pain gradually dissipated, the blood dripping began to stop dripping ... my body felt light and no longer felt pain. I sincerely God, I give everything away ... I accept everything that has happened in my life ... I do not demand the slightest reply from the people who are harassing me, I just want to calm down and feel peaceful ...
Now I can see my husband from a distance, sad it can not make him wary and realized the mistake he has lived, I just hope one day he will wake up and return to the right path, that's all.
Father, Mother, no more crying for my departure ... really I am willing to accept all this, I know secretly you start to know all this though not too sure. Do not hate him Father, Mother, embrace him ... help him to come back to realize that what he did was wrong ...
Thank you Father, Mother, My Husband ... for your presence in my short life ... you left a lot of memories there ...
Time after time running, no one dared to disturb me including the sounds of laughter that had been disturbing in my ears. Until one day everything became so bright, I saw a familiar view, it seems this is the last place I saw it all ... "yes, here I saw the sun some time ago just before everything went dark! Loh ... that's who? Su my husband? "I talked alone with a sense of wonder when suddenly my husband came to a place not far from me, I saw my husband approaching a tree, sitting in front of him, and dear ... I saw that tree turned into a figure so scary, building, has eyes, feet, large hands and feathers are so dense. I see them so clearly, and it seems they do not see me, I'm sure ... someone gave me the strength to know what happened without being seen by them ...
"Sorry mbah, should not he that I sacrifice, I think he is not a good woman who obeys worship, it turns out he even annoys where live mbah ... sorry mbah", my husband said like that, I still do not understand what he was talking about. Then the creature made a jarring sound like he was angry, "you bastard! Incompetent student! I do not know what to do away with! The body is rotting, I can not restore! Now you're looking for a new victim to be my meal, you're looking for a nagging wife and making my place a mess! You want to get rich quick? "
It seems I'm beginning to understand, and I do not want to keep listening to their conversation, I cover my two ears that are constantly buzzing ... tears rolling down my face. I hope this is a dream, he who I love is a devout worshiper and so love me ... I kept my eyes closed, begging forgiveness for everything that happened to me and my family, including my husband who may indeed have made me a victim ... I am sincere as long as he can return to a straight path, as long as I can go home and know the direction ...
I keep praying and releasing all my memories of the wonderful world I've ever enjoyed, I keep praying and encouraging my heart to willingly give up all that has happened ...
Something happened to me afterwards, the pain gradually dissipated, the blood dripping began to stop dripping ... my body felt light and no longer felt pain. I sincerely God, I give everything away ... I accept everything that has happened in my life ... I do not demand the slightest reply from the people who are harassing me, I just want to calm down and feel peaceful ...
Now I can see my husband from a distance, sad it can not make him wary and realized the mistake he has lived, I just hope one day he will wake up and return to the right path, that's all.
Father, Mother, no more crying for my departure ... really I am willing to accept all this, I know secretly you start to know all this though not too sure. Do not hate him Father, Mother, embrace him ... help him to come back to realize that what he did was wrong ...
Thank you Father, Mother, My Husband ... for your presence in my short life ... you left a lot of memories there ...
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